My Fitness Routine: Start Here
If you want to join me on my health journey and make it your very own.
Well hello my friends, fancy meeting you here. Just kidding, you signed up to get this and will probably unsubscribe once I give you my routine. No judgement here, I’ve been trying to unsubscribe from Pottery Barn ever since I wanted 15% off two years ago. I’m too lazy to hit the button, so it’s whatever.
Even so, I’m happy we’re here together and hope we can walk beside one another on this journey for a long time.
If you’re like me, when you get a weight loss book, of which I own many, you skip right through that idle chit chat BS and go straight to the plan. Pardon, Dr. Low Carb, I’m not here for you to “get to the root” of my problems, okay? I don’t need the back story about how you used to be 10 pounds overweight, thus understand what I’m going through. And no more science that completely contradicts the science of the other book I read last year! Just give me the plan and let’s move on!
[I feel you, you can jump to my routine here.]
Clearly, a humor writer, who has no business even writing about health and fitness is going to struggle badly keeping on point (as you can see). With that said, if you stay here with me, I promise to take you along my health journey and tell you everything I know along the way. We’ll laugh, we’ll celebrate and we’ll lick our wounds and pick ourselves up after each setback. If you all want this to grow and continue, I can host some live chats where I answer your questions and help in any way I can. If you have friends who could benefit from joining us, I hope you’ll invite them too.
Speaking of setbacks, there will be many. I implore you to not get so frustrated by them, you quit. We’ll lose two, gain three and then try real hard not to get pissy the rest of the day. The game Chutes and Ladders really is an unintentional, yet powerful metaphor for life. For reasons I’ll never understand, landing on a chute every once in a while is a deeply annoying, sometimes devastating, essential part of our growth. It’s a featured element of the game we are choosing to play. We simply have to stop acting so offended when it happens to us. But somedays, trust me, we’ll hit ladders. And if we don’t give up, we’ll inevitably win the game of life-long health. It’s impossible not to.
I’m going to start by giving you what you’ve asked for – my daily routine. After today, I plan to provide more in-depth information about my journey getting here (and I have not yet arrived, to be clear), my daily routine, real talk about my setbacks, why I’ve actually stuck to something for the first time in my life and provide motivation and progress along the way. If I change up my routine, I’ll let you know. If I have a favorite recipe, I’ll share it. We’re doing this together. It doesn’t mean you have to or should copy everything I do—but I recognize that emulating someone who is where you want to be is much easier than fighting the massive contradictory clutter of the weight loss industry. I hope this helps you.
It’s important for me to mention that I am not a licensed personal trainer, I’m a humor writer, sooooo ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Let’s keep that fresh in our minds. My niece Maddy Penton, who gave me my workout schedule, is working towards her license now.
I’m also not a nutritionist. I eat to fuel my body for a rigorous workout regimen, while minimizing calories just enough to enable weight loss. All I can do is share my guidelines with you and what is currently working for my body. We’re all individuals, it isn’t one size fits all. Experimenting what works best for you is part of the process, even though it can be hellish. Please check with your own doctors, dietitians / nutritionists before starting any program.
At least for right now, I will not be teaching you how to do these exercises. All of them are a simple Google search away where you can watch videos on how to do them.
If I get overwhelming feedback that you would like me to go deeper with beginner and/or intermediate training schedules, along with more detailed information on form and nutrition, I’ll see what I can do for you and we’ll go from there. Sound good?
Okay, here we go! Here’s my routine.
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Have we met? I’m Anna Lind Thomas, a humor writer out of Omaha, Nebraska. I’m listed as one of USA Today’s top ten funniest women writers, and author of the best selling book We’ll Laugh About This (Someday) and my latest - I’m Not Ready for This. Once you read them, text me (number’s in the back and I respond!). Don’t forget to say hi on Facebook and Instagram.